Merry Christmas All!

A beautiful mild Christmas morning in southern New Brunswick. After getting up at 7am to open gifts and having a wonderful breakfast of eggs benedict, my daughter and I are sitting here watching her new Great Big Sea concert CD (Courage, Patience and Grit) tapping our feet and singing along with some great traditional Newfoundland folk music. If you've never heard these guys you're missing a real treat. We've been to several of their concerts and they really shine.

This is the time of year when I really notice the climate change going on around us. The Christmas mornings from my childhood were so different. They were usually cold and very white. Usually by Christmas day we had been through several major snow storms and had at least a few days off school due to these.

I vividly recall going outside on Christmas morning to play with a sled or a new pair of skates. I remember climbing a snow bank one Christmas morning and being able to touch the telephone wires with a stick. It's a far cry from the green grass outside this morning. I miss it.

The smells of Christmas are still very much the same; the turkey cooking, the fragrant stuffing, the fig pudding. Mom still works her magic, much the same as she has done for the past 50 years. My wife knows enough to stand aside when she's in the Christmas kitchen. My brother lives in Nova Scotia these days so it means we don't get to fight over the toys like we used to, although the days of the toy trains, racing car sets and action heroes seem to be far away.

As we look forward to a new year I wish peace and prosperity for all. We are truly blessed in Canada and I pray that we show God's love to all in 2007.

The Night Before Christmas by a soldier

A friend of mine forward this along. We both had dads in the services and have a special place in our hearts for those serving in our armed forces. Merry Christmas guys and thanks!

The Night Before Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas,
He lived all alone,
In a one bedroom house,
Made of plaster and stone.


I had come down the chimney,
With presents to give,
And to see just who,
In this home did live.

I looked all about,
A strange sight I did see,
No tinsel, no presents,
Not even a tree.

No stocking by the mantle,
Just boots filled with sand,
On the wall hung pictures,
Of far distant lands.

With medals and badges,
Awards of all kinds,
A sober thought,
Came through my mind.

For this house was different,
It was dark and dreary,
I found the home of a soldier,
Once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping,
Silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor,
In this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle,
The room in disorder,
Not how I pictured,
A Canadian soldier.

Was this the hero,
Of whom I'd just read?,
Curled up on a poncho,
The floor for a bed?

I realized the families,
That I saw this night,
Owed their lives to these soldiers,
Who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world,
The children would play,
And grownups would celebrate,
A bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom,
Each month of the year,
Because of the soldiers,
Like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder,
How many lay alone,
On a cold Christmas eve,
In a land far from home.

The very thought brought,
A tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees,
And started to cry.

The soldier awakened,
And I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry,
This life is my choice.

I fight for freedom,
I don't ask for more,
My life is my god,
My country, my corps."

The soldier rolled over,
And drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it,
I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours,
So silent and still,
And we both shivered,
From the cold night's chill.

I didn't want to leave,
On that cold, dark night,
This guardian of honour,
So willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over,
With a voice, soft and pure,
Whispered, "carry on Santa,
It's Christmas, all is secure."

One look at my watch,
And I knew he was right,
"Merry Christmas my friend,
And to all a good night."

This poem was written by a peace-keeping soldier stationed overseas.

The following is his request. I think it is reasonable.

PLEASE. Would you do me the kind favour of sending this to as many people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our Canadian service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.

Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed themselves for us.

Amen.

Disney Bound

Last week was an interesting one. My daughter found out that she is going to work at Disney Resorts in Florida at Epcot in the Canadian pavilion. She'll be part of Disney's international student program where they actually recruit students from the countries represented at the various pavilions in Epcot.

So from April 07 to April 08 she'll be living and working there. She has always been Disney crazy and decided early on that she wanted to work there. I admire that fact that she went after a dream and made it happen. Way to go girl!

I guess we can all learn something from that. Sometimes we settle rather than pursuing the thing we want the most out of life. It's difficult to seperate what we want from what our family, friends or spouse wants. But if you don't do this you may never achieve what you were meant to. Over time we will forget what we really wanted out of life and as time goes on we realize that something is missing but don't know what.

We were out on this earth for a purpose and we are built with specific talents and abilities all designed for a particular purpose. Have you found out what that is yet? If you'd like to read more about this subject, check out Rick Warren's book, "The Purpose-Driven Life".

Living in Peace

We make war that we may live in peace.

Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics

This is Rememberance Day in Canada. Today we remember those who gave up their lives for our freedom. I think of my dad today and his brothers as well as others whose children I know. They gave up alot living in terrible conditions, going for days without sleep or decent food, wondering if the next battle would be their last.

My dad didn't like to talk much about the war. I noticed this was pretty common among the veterans. I guess it brought back too many bad memories. There were some good times too though. Dad liked to talk about the time he spent in Holland. He said that the Dutch people treated them like their own and he had many warm memories of them. I believe the Dutch people still hold a special place in their hearts for Canada.

Will we ever have peace? One only has to pick up the newspaper, watch the TV news or check any number of Internet sources to know that we are far from having a peaceful world. Conflicts continue in places like Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel, Sudan, Thailand, Colombia, Pakistan, Sudan, Congo, and the Philippines, Meanwhile, peace has broken out in Nepal, Chechnya and Burundi. After four years of ceasefire, war has broken out again in Sri Lanka. In all these countries, civil war is the main cause of conflict.

The Bible tells us that there will never be peace until Jesus returns to create his kingdom on Earth. Men's hearts can not be mended without divine intervention. We are called to be peacemakers but our selfish "I" centered nature wins out too often. We can make a difference but we can't fix it all, only God can.

Below is a list of wars currently going on in our world as listed by the StrategyPage.com.

AFGHANISTAN
Taliban are fighting back more vigorously, but without much success. Independent minded tribes, warlords and drug gangs remain a greater threat to peace, prosperity and true national unity than the Taliban.

ALGERIA
Islamic rebels fading away, but a general uprising a threat because of dissatisfaction with the old revolutionaries that refuse to honor election results or share power.

ANGOLA
Main rebel group (UNITA) defeated, but some smaller ones have appeared to fight over oil wealth.

BALKANS
The Greater Albania Movement is driven by part time Albanian nationalists, full time gangsters and a growing number of Islamic radicals. Bosnia continues to attract Islamic terrorists.

CENTRAL ASIA
Dictators brew rebellion by suppressing democrats and Islamic radicals.

CHAD
Unrest and rebellion is brewing, spurred on by a three month mini-war with Sudan in mid-2006. More unrest is caused by refugees from tribal battles in Sudan.

CHINA
The confrontation with Taiwan continues, as do hostilities with neighbors, separatists, dissenters and ancient enemies. China speeds up modernization of its armed forces.

COLOMBIA
After over three decades, leftist rebels losing support, recruits and territory. Leftist demagogue in Venezuela threatens to support rebels, but has not done much yet.

CONGO
Multiple tribal and political militias, plus an increasing number of bandits, continue to roam the countryside. Peacekeepers and army action have reduced the the size of these violent groups, but not eliminated them.

INDIA-PAKISTAN
Kashmir is but one of many rebellions that beset the region. But India and Pakistan have nukes, making escalation a potential catastrophe. Recent peace talks have lowered the possibility of war, but both sides continue an arms race. Pakistani Islamic radical groups continue to support terrorism in India and Afghanistan.

INDONESIA
Separatism, pirates, Islamic terrorists and government corruption create a volatile situation that is slowly calming down.

IRAN
Minority of Islamic conservatives have veto power over the majority of reformers. The supply of peaceful solutions is drying up. After that comes another revolution. Half the population consists of ethnic minorities (mainly Turks and Arabs), and these groups are getting more restive and violent. Meanwhile, the Islamic conservatives are determined to build nuclear weapons.

IRAQ
Sunni Arab minority tries to make peace with the majority Kurds and Shia Arabs. But Sunni Arab Islamic radicals still back terrorism attacks against government and Shia Arabs (who are considered heretics). Many Sunni Arabs are fleeing the country.

ISRAEL
Jewish and Palestinian radicals continue to confront peacemakers. The Palestinian people got tired of terrorism and are trying to work out a peace deal with Israel. Iran backed Islamic radicals in Lebanon have dragged Lebanon into a war with Israel.

IVORY COAST
The north and the south fight over money, religion and power.

KOREA
After half a century, North Korea continues to destroy its economy to maintain armed forces capable of invading South Korea.

KURDISH WAR
Kurds continue 5,000 year struggle to form their own country.

LIBERIA
Chaos, collapse and tired of fighting. There is peace, but no prosperity.

MICRONESIA
Several "failed states" (countries with populations that cannot govern themselves) are found here.

NEPAL
Radical communist rebels still struggle to overthrow a popular monarchy. An alliance with political parties threatens to greatly reduce the powers of the monarchy, while reducing the violence level.

NIGERIA
Too many tribes, too much oil money and too much corruption creates too much violence. The tribes in the major oil producing region (the Niger Delta) are getting organized, and a lot more violent. The northern Moslems want more control over the federal government (and the oil money).

POTENTIAL HOT SPOTS
Various places where the local situation is warming up and might turn into a war.

PHILIPPINES
Islamic minority in the south wants it's own country, and expulsion of non-Moslems. Communist rebels in the north fight for social justice and a dictatorship.

RUSSIA
Rebuilding and reforming the Soviet era armed forces continues. The war against gangsters and Islamic radicals in Chechnya has been one, but the Islamic radicals continue to operate in other parts of the Caucasus.

RWANDA & BURUNDI
War between better organized and more aggressive Tutsis and more numerous Hutu tribes. It's been going on for centuries.

SOMALIA
A failed state. It was never a country, but a collection of clans and tribes that fight each other constantly over land and other economic issues. Attempting to establish a new government, while an Islamic movement tries to put the entire country under the rule of Islamic clergy and Islamic law.

SRI LANKA
Tamil minority (19th century economic migrants from southern India) battles to partition the island. A long ceasefire ends and fighting has resumed.

SUDAN
Moslems in the north try to suppress separatist tendencies among Christians in the south. Complicated by oil fields in the south, and Moslem government attempts to drive Christians from oil region. Battles over land in the west pit Arab herders against black Sudanese farmers. Both sides are Moslem, but the government is backing the Arabs.

THAILAND
Moslems in the south have a different religion than most Thais, and are different ethnically as well (they are Malays). Islamic radicalism has arrived, along with an armed effort to create a separate Islamic state among the few million people in the area.

UGANDA
Religion and tribalism combine to create a persistent rebellion in the north, which was aided by Sudan. But now the northern rebels have been worn down, and the unrest is just about done with.

WAR ON TERROR
International terrorism has created a international backlash and a war unlike any other.

Autumn

'Fall, leaves, fall'

Fall, leaves, fall; die, flowers, away;
Lengthen night and shorten day;
Every leaf speaks bliss to me
Fluttering from the autumn tree.

I shall smile when wreaths of snow
Blossom where the rose should grow;
I shall sing when night's decay
Ushers in a drearier day.

Emily Jane Brontë

The Best and Worst

I came across a couple of news articles this morning that provide a graphic illustration of the best and worst of human nature. I thought I'd share.

On the positive side, Bangladeshi microcredit pioneer Muhammad Yunus and his Grameen Bank were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for advancing economic and social opportunities for the poor, particularly women. The economist and the bank he founded have been instrumental in helping millions of poor Bangladeshis, many of them women, improve their standard of living by letting them borrow small sums to start businesses like buying cows to start a dairy, chickens for an egg business, or mobile phones to start businesses where villagers who have no access to phones pay a small fee to make calls. Click here to read the press release.

The mirror image here showing the worse side of human nature is this story out of Uniontown, Pennsylvania where a youth baseball coach was convicted of offering an 8-year-old $25 to bean an autistic teammate so he couldn't play in a playoff game. The player hit the mildly autistic child in the groin and then in the ear to try and knock him out of the game. How sad is that.

It's so sad to think that humans have such a capacity for good yet display such selfish and evil actions that tear so many down. Are you lifting people up or tearing them down?

Beautiful Thanksgiving!

We were pleased with warm temperatures and gentle breezes for our Thanksgiving Day weekend. I spent much of it outdoors combining work and pleasure. Whether is was visiting the Kingston Farmer's Market, mowing the lawn or hiking the paths of the Fundy Trail, everything experience was awesome.

Sunday afternoon we spent walking and driving around the Fundy Coast following the Fundy Trail Parkway. If you've ever been to the Cabot Trail in Nova Scotia you'll experience similar vistas taking this road. Only Phase 1 has been built to-date. Future phases plan to connect this trail with Fundy National Park. I was somewhat sceptical of this initiative when it first started, perhaps more for selfish reasons than anything.

I've had many the two and three day hikes through this remote vista without help of even a trail let alone a road. My friends and I enjoyed the remoteness and beauty of this location. I was concerned that an auto road would open it up too much ruining the wilderness with inconsiderate ATVers, 4-wheelers et al. Would people respect nature as it was intended?

I can report so far so good. I'm sure there have been incidents but as far as I can tell they've been few and far between. Instead of necessitating a major excursion one can now jump in the car and access this beautiful spot with ease. I think the convenience and accessibility is worth the risk. This can be wonderful tourist destination if promoted and supported properly. I hope everyone supports it. If you haven't been there yet make it a point to do it. You'll be glad you did!

Why the kids?

Another school shooting. This time a gunman kills 3 Amish girls in a 1 room school house in Pennsylvania. This violence is the third US school shooting in less than a week that has killed a student and the killer in a Colorado high school and a 15-year-old boy is accused of killing his principal in a Wisconsin school on Friday. In Las Vegas on Monday, two schools were shut down after reports that a student was seen carrying a gun.

We have not escaped this outrage in Canada either. In September a 25-year-old Quebec man killed a young woman after he went on a shooting rampage at Dawson College in Montreal. The shooter left 19 injured and shot himself in the process.

What the heck is going on? Why are these disturbed individuals going after children? The shooters were various ages with some of them being students but others were outsiders. Yet they all chose schools in which to make their statements and take lives, including their own. Why?

Schools are supposed to be places of learning, of personal growth, a safe place to grow talents and gifts. Now parents, kids and teachers are living in fear that the next person coming through the door of their school will be carrying a gun and a chip on their shoulder. Is the answer really to turn our schools into armed camps with guards at the doors?

I really hope not but are the options? I don't see many. The number of disturbed individuals ready and willing to carry out their retribution on some real or imaginary adversaries appears to be increasing. Without a basic change to our society I don't see this improving on it's own. Reaching out to the disadvantaged, the outcasts, the uncool ones does not come naturally. God calls us to reach out in love to everyone around us including, and perhaps especially, these unloved people. It's only when enough of us take this message to heart that real basic changes will happen.

I haven't given up hope but in the end it might require divine intervention. I hope not.

Glad to be a Canadian

As Canadians we are many times over shadowed by our neighbours to the south. But when I read articles like this I'm glad to be a Canadian!

Air Force chief: Test weapons on testy U.S. mobs

Scary!

Cell phone fury

Here's a great story that was posted at blogginstocks.com by Victoria Erhart about cell phones in the courtroom. I say "Yah!" When people are asked to turn off their cell phones, whether it be in a courtroom, a restaurant, movie theatre or wherever and don't comply they need a kick in the ass. It's the same argument as banning smoking in public places. You're infringing on everyone else's rights when you do this. Get with the progrom and take it outside!

When Lake County Indiana Criminal Court Judge Diane Boswell demands order in her court, you better believe she means it. Frustrated by repeated disturbances from cell phones ringing during proceedings, Judge Boswell demanded to know who the guilty parties were. When the offenders seated in a row designated for court visitors did not speak up, Judge Boswell ordered the entire row of visitors to serve detention in chairs usually reserved for jail inmates. The visitors had to sit there until morning court was completed. Then Judge Boswell began to dispense justice.

Judge Boswell fined a woman on disability $100 for failure to silence her phone. She ordered a man to serve 40 hours community service because he was one of the offenders but did not speak up promptly when Her Honor first inquired. Judge Boswell even fined the woman sitting next to this man 40 hours of community service because she didn't rat the guy out. The moral of this AP press release: Don't bring your cell phone to Judge Boswel's court.

This is not the first case of judges throwing the book at cellphone users in court. In July, U.S. District Court Judge Wiliam Shubb swept down off his bench in search of the offending cell phone ring. Finding the phone in the hands of a older woman, Judge Shubb took the phone, opened the court room door and threw the cell phone into the hallway. He then ordered his marshals to confiscate every cell phone in the court room.

There seems to be an immediate need for Motorola, Apple or Cingular to supply non-offensive ringtones. Maybe the theme to Judge Judy's show?

Summer Vacation

Summer seems to be winding down here on the east coast of Canada. Don't get me wrong, the temps are nice in the mid-20's (75F), it's sunny and not too cold at night. But you can feel the cool in the air in the morning and you know we're sliding into Fall.

I took about a week and a half break this summer. We did some camping in PEI, which is a lovely small province. If you like gentle rolling hills, sandy beaches and great golfing this is a wonderful place to take a vacation. Marco Polo Land has been a favourite place to camp for may years and it's still one of the best. We used to go here when we were kids with our family and always enjoyed it so much. I still continue to return every summer.

My brother Steve and his daughter Kristin were up for a brief visit. We managed to get in a round of golf at Rockwood Park here in Saint John. If you like woods and water, which I don't, it's a great course. With 2200 acres it's the largest park inside city limits in Canada. It has alot to offer for families and is really worth a visit. We enjoyed our golf match even though it was a scorcher by Saint John standards at 32C. Neither of us played very well but we still had fun.

We followed this up with a tasty lunch, a swim at Meenan's Cove in Quispamsis and a sausage BBQ. An enjoyable day for sure. It's too bad we only get to do this occasionally. Ah those summer days, almost gone.

And how did you spend your summer?

When I Whine

I thought I'd share this. I am as guilty of this as anyone. It's so easy to forget our blessings.

When I Whine
~~~~~~~
Today, upon a bus, I saw a girl with golden hair
I looked at her and sighed and wished I was as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine
I have 2 legs, the world is mine.
~~~
I stopped to buy some candy
The lad who sold it had such charm
I talked with him a while, he seemed so very glad
If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm
blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.
~~~
Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue
He stood and watched the others play
He did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others, dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
And then I knew, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.
~~~
With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I would know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I've been blessed indeed, The world is mine.
~~~

Pass it along.

Now This is Way Cool!

Check out Nokia's new phone or is it a camera or is it a video camera? Whatever the heck it is, I want one! I know we won't see this in North America for awhile since it's just becoming available this month in Europe but it's on my Christmas list.

Check out the specs. The Nokia N93 features a 3.2 megapixel camera with Carl Zeiss optics and 3x optical zoom. You can connect the Nokia N93 directly to your TV for a widescreen movie experience. You get DVD-like quality video with MPEG-4 VGA video capture at 30 frames per second. It also features large internal memory of up to 50 MB, which can be further expanded with a hot swap miniSD card of up to 2 GB, allowing users to capture up to 90 minutes of DVD-like quality video or close to 2500 high-quality photos.

This is one very cool multimedia machine especially great for Vlogs and spur of the moment video capture. You will need one too.

Review of the Nokia N93 here

Specs and demo at Nokia

Hot Rods, Muscle Cars and More

I visited the Atlantic Nationals car show in Moncton, New Brunswick on Sunday. It was a beautiful warm sunny day with temps in the high 20's C (80's F). It took place at Centennial Park in Moncton and the place was jammed full of antique cars and trucks of all description - hot rods, muscle cars, trucks, tricked-out Japanese cars, speciality vehicles - you name it, they were there.

In all between 1800 and 2000 of these vehicles were spread over hundreds of acres. Fortunately there were plenty of shady spots for respite from the sun, so it was great.

My favourites are the 67-72 muscle cars, especially the Mopars like the Cuda, Road Runner, Charger and Challenger.

My mom used to own a '71 Dodge Challenge with a 340 c.i. engine. This was a small block V8 that was lightweight, had a high output and was at home on the street or at the drag strip. In reality this little engine put out a ton of power, something like 315 to 320 hp. It was a real fun car to run.

Mom used to drive it back and forth to work and get groceries. The poor car! About every 6 months she's take it into the shop so the mechanics could take the heads apart and scrape the carbon out. After awhile they told her to leave it in first gear so it would rev higher and keep things a little cleaner. I was in university and would always look forward to coming home to take that car out and give it an "Italian tune-up", that is drive the s**t out of it. She said she'd never sell to me because she figured I'd kill myself. Maybe she was right.

I've captured some of the ones I liked the best here. If you like to tinker and socialize with people with a similiar addiction, this is a wonderful hobby. Of course it helps to have a bit of cash as restoring and keeping these babies running is not for the faint of heart. It's a labour of love. What a great way to spend a summer day! I'm jealous - I want one. Now if I only had a garage.

Enjoy.

The Beautiful Miramichi

I come from a place originally called Newcastle but after amalgamation with some surrounding communities is now called "Miramichi". This name is actually the name of the river that runs through the town and is renown as one of the world's premier salmon fishing rivers.

My ancestors settled this area and the river has been a big part of our family's life for generations. To learn about some of the areas' history check here. These are excerpts from a book called "Miramichi Tales Tall and True" by Doug Underhill. Doug is a former high school English teacher (mine in fact!) and quite a fisherman in his own right. You can check him out here.

This area is steeped in history and tradition. The Miramichi Folksong Festival is a venue for traditional folksingers and storytellers from the Miramichi area and is held every year in August. The songs are unique to the area and have been passed down verbally from generation to generation. They talk of the lumbermen, the fishermen, the guides and life on the river. You'll hear tunes like "Memories of Dungarvon", "Blackville Bell", "Chemin de Fer", "The Fire of '25", "The Tobique Valley Line", "Rose of the Miramichi", "“Banks of the Gaspereaux"”, "“Jam on Gerry'’s Rock", "“Gallant Brigantine"”, "“Jeannie Ferguson"”, "“Lighthouse Keeper'’s Wife"”, "“The Stowaway", "“Napan Heroes"”, "“James McGee"”, "“Banks of the Little Eau Plaine", "“Dungarvon Whooper", "“Messenger Song", "“Pride of Glencoe" and "Dark Eyed Sailor".

I visited my mother this past weekend who still lives there. I don't get there as often as I should but it's always good to spend some time reconnecting with family, friends and the river. There's an area called French Fort Cove that now has a great hiking trail. We spent a good part of the morning checking out the area taking in some wonderful scenery. You can find out more about it here. You have to read about the Headless Nun!

Relationships

Relationships are a big part of life. I attended the funeral of my cousin a while back. The pastor who gave the message told us that after we're gone the only things people really remember are the relationships they had with the person. How true that is.

All the wealth or things we have accumulated mean little when we're gone. People remember us for what kind of a person we were, what we did or didn't do for others, what our priorities in life were, our attitudes and actions towards people.

We spend a great deal of our time and energy dealing with family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and even strangers. To say relationships can be difficult is an understatement. They are tough, really tough.

Here is some good advice on relationships between couples from Susan Quilliam, relationship psychologist and author. I need to keep these in mind as much or more than anyone else (my comments in brackets):

1. Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Carve out at least half an hour a night, and at least one day a month when you the two of you spend time exclusively together. [Ok, especially hard to do when the couple live in 2 different cities]

2. You will both need security, comfort. A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides. [Note "both"; if one does it and the other doesn't it gets really bad]

3. Keep your dependence and independence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him or her, but don't cling, as that can make your partner feel trapped.

4. Encourage the other person to listen to you, by showing appreciation when they do. Be aware that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

5. Learn to do the one thing that is most likely to restore good feeling in your relationship - giving your partner a genuine, loving and approving smile. [I'd add a hug here :) ]

6. Often those subtle quirks that first attracted you to your partner can, with time, turn around and become toe-curlingly annoying habits. Learn to love them, warts and all. [Yep sometime stuff goes right over my head - sorry]

7. Hidden resentments poison a relationship; so if something bothers you, say it. [When you're angry please get it out in the open, don't hold it in. Like the lady says it's poison]

8. Remember that boredom typically covers up anger. If you feel bored with your partner, ask yourself what you're angry about.

9. Learn how to argue well. The trick is to never say anything that you wouldn't want to hear said to you.

10. Research suggests you need five positive experiences to erase the memory of one negative experience. So give five kind words for each bitchy comment. Give five hugs for each cold shoulder.

11. Learn how to negotiate. Each of you states what you want, then both of you work together to find a way forward.

12. Accept the things that won't change. Some characteristics about your partner are there for life - and you have to face that.

13. Learn to forgive.

Great words to live by but easily overlooked or forgotten when anger or something else takes our minds somewhere else.

On a related note, long distance relationships are also really hard. I have a dear friend that I don't see enough and the distance makes it real tough. "Ask Alice" says this:

Alice,

My friend and I have been involved in a long distance relationship for six months now. We keep in touch with each other on a regular basis, calling and visiting each other. I feel that the distance between us will cause our relationship to end. We have been seeing each other for a year and a half. What are our chances of being together in the future?

—Miles away

Dear Miles away,

As Alice looks into her crystal ball, she sees that there is another way to think about your situation. The future, of course, is unclear, even for Alice, so why not focus on the present? Your distance could be considered a blessing in disguise, allowing you to come to know your friend in many ways that close proximity could stifle. Proximity can breed taking for granted the opportunity to talk at any time. It can also lead to physical intimacy (Alice doesn't know if you are sexually intimate) before you are both ready. Distance, combined with telephone calls and writing, electronically or through snail-mail, can foster an enviable intimacy which results from learning about another's qualities, values, ways of thinking, sensitivities, dreams, and aspirations. This type of intimacy can make your coming together much more special. Alice knows there are some people, in circumstances similar to your own, who spend more time writing their thoughts and feelings to the recipients of their affections than they spend in face-to-face conversations with people they live with, day in and day out. Many day-to-day relationships are characterized by superficial conversation, and few, if any, meaningful heart-to-hearts. So, Alice is suggesting that you not run away from your long-distance relationship, but nurture and savor it.

It is important for you and your partner to talk about what you're feeling, and what your concerns are. S/he may be wondering about the same things. If being together on a daily basis is what both of you want, then you can begin to strategize ways to make this happen. Will you need to wait until you graduate? Can one of you transfer schools? Or change jobs? Leave the possibility open, too, that you may continue in this coupleship for a long time, and that would be okay, too. Alice believes there are many "right" ways to be involved in a loving relationship.

Alice

University Graduation

I just attended what I believe to be my first university graduation ceremony. I didn't bother going to my own way back when because I had just landed my 1st full time job and didn't feel that I could afford the time off. I've always wondered whether I missed something special or maybe it just would have been boring.

Yesterday was my daughter's graduation. She is now the proud holder of a Business degree with Honors majoring in Marketing from the University of New Brunswick (UNB). Happy Day! It was a good day.

Despite sitting through the handing out of hundreds of diplomas I'm glad I went. Obviously I wanted to support my daughter. Also, being an alumni of said school, I was curious to see how things had changed.

Although the school has grown and now has campuses and affiliations in such far flung places like Africa and the Far East, it's nature remains the same. It's a comfortable, linked community where students and professors interact well (to a large extent) and located in a somewhat quiet, very scenic part of the world. It provides an island for those looking for safety and time to find themselves and their place in life.

I know my daughter has made life long friendships which will do her in good stead and she's ready to enter the "world". She's developed the tools she needs to learn, lead and live over these past 4 years. It's been good for her, good for her friends and peers.

Go forth and prosper!!

My Daughter & I

Such a cute pair! And she just graduated with a business degree. Now she needs to find a job to support me in the style I'd like to be accustomed to!! 

Cuba Pics

Here's a collection of some of my pics from recent trip to Cuba. Enjoy!

Trip to Cuba

I just returned from a 1 week vacation in Cuba where we stayed the new Barcelo Marina Palace. It's located in Varadero which has the largest resorts complex in the Caribbean. International development began here in the 1930's when the US chemical millionaire Irenee Dupont Nemours built a large estate on the peninsula. The peninsula has over 20 km of white sandy beaches.

We booked our trip through Signature Vacations and flew direct from Halifax Nova Scotia to Varadero. Unfortunately the flight was delayed 3 hours due to mechanical problems but we eventually arrived at about 1:30am. Getting through Immigration and getting baggage was no problem. A quick bus trip to the resort and we were ready to go.

The Marina Palace is only about 1 year old and is nicely appointed. The rooms were spacious and clean with all the modern conveniences you'd expect in North America. They use the latest technology mostly from Europe. The resort is quite spread out being almost a mile long. The beach is about 2 kilometers long and as a result there's lots of room where you can have some privacy.

The staff was friendly and the food was fine although selection was a bit limited. There was only 1 day when selections were not great while the rest of the time it was good.

The day tour of the capital, Havana, was eye opening. There was a tremendous number of dilapidated buildings. According to our tour guide, whenever asked about this, the response was "they are targeted for re-construction". There is actually re-construction happening in old Havana around the historical plazas. Obviously being a popular place for tourists these would be the areas they would focus on first. Unfortunately there just isn't enough funds to do them all so I expect many buildings will continue to look run down for years to come.

Impressively there weren't many kids roaming the streets. They appeared to be all in school. The ones we saw were dressed in school uniforms. Now whether this is the same across the country I really can't say. However I do know that education is free right up to university. I had a Cuban man working for me in the IT industry and he had four degrees. The problem is when you get out it's hard to find a decent paying job.

Everyone is given a ration card to buy food, clothes, etc. The guaranteed salary is 350 Cuban pesos a month which is only about $18/month Canadian. So needless to say that doesn't go very far. So whether you're a doctor, dentist, lawyer, clerk or laborer, that's what you get. In order to make ends meet, most take on extra jobs.

Working in tourism is about the best since they get access not only to goods being brought in by tourists from around the world but they usually get tipped in CUC (convertible Cuban Pesos) which are equivalent to a U.S. dollar. This means they can buy goods that tourists could purchase although it's unclear to me how that happens since they're not actually allowed to shop in these stores. I expect the answer is the "black market" which is alive and thriving.

These people work hard. Everyone has to work without exception and get 3-4 days off a month if they're lucky. This combined with a real lack of personal transportation makes it really difficult for the family life resulting in a 60% divorce rate. Working long hours is also a given. In tourism a day that runs from 6am to 10pm is not unusual. But when you talk to people about it, the response usually is, that's life. I'm not sure if everyone feels that way, I expect not.

There seems to be plenty to do if you're visiting. There are lots of country-side tours, water trips, historical places to see and places to explore. There doesn't seem to be many restrictions on travel within the country and there's pretty easy access to vehicles. There's always locals available willing to show you around or guides who will take you on a custom tour.

Bottom line is that in Cuba the weather is great, it's a very safe place and the people are wonderful. Also if you like cigars and rum, it has some of the world's best. I'd go back again.

Sunny California

I recently returned from a business trip to southern California. I've been there quite a few times over my working career and always enjoy it. I can see why so many people choose to live there.

The climate is ideal, there's a wonderful blend of climates with everything from snow in the mountains to lush greenery to rolling sand dunes nestled up to the Pacific Ocean that stretch for miles. I especially enjoy driving the Pacific Coast Highway when there's lots of time and I just want to roam.

It's unfortunate that all these great things are marred by horrendous traffic, smog, electrical shortages, fresh water supply problems and just lots and lots of people. Locusts have landed in the land of milk and honey.

I like Californians by and large. I find them optimistic and forward looking. They generally don't like whatever government is in power. They gave Arnold a chance but it's commonly held that he won't get another. They're an eclectic lot coming from far and wide including my home of Canada. It's really the eptimomy of the "melting pot of humanity".

You Know You're In California When...

The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

You were born somewhere else.

You know how to eat an artichoke.

The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

Your car has bulletproof windows.

Left is right and right is wrong.

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

Your mouse has only one ball.

Your cat has it's own psychiatrist.

You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

You can also take the California Driver's License Test. Yep, they're a strange bunch.

What happened to the Canadian men?

I just have to wonder what's going on with the Canadian men at the Olympics in Torino. Right now on this Wednesday evening Canada has 18 medals. The women have won a full 72% or 13 of these. What's with that?

If they gave medals for 4^th place Canada would be cleaning up! What it comes down to for the men is the lack of will or desire to give that little extra to put them into the medals. In other words I really don't think it's the physical part of their game that's the issue but it's all in the mind.

Reggie Jackson once said “The will to win is worthless if you don't get paid for it.” Some countries pay their athletes for bringing home the bacon. For example the Lithuanian government pay their athletes a special cash bonus of more than $100,000 for each gold medal. Victorious U.S. Athletes will get just $25,000, paid by the U.S. Olympic Committee and the Russian government will pay $50,000 for each Russian gold.

So maybe that's what it takes, a little incentive. Abraham Maslow, the U.S. psychologist noticed while he worked with monkeys that some needs take precedence over others. For example, if you are hungry and thirsty, you will tend to try to take care of the thirst first. He developed his hierarchy of needs. In the hierarchy physiological needs are at the very bottom of the pyramid and must be satisfied before anything else can be considered. These include the basic needs like oxygen, water, protein, salt, etc.

When the physiological needs are largely taken care of, the second layer of needs, those of safety and security, comes into play. These are followed in order by love and belonging needs and esteem needs.

So if our athletes are scrapping by, holding down part time jobs to eat and trying in line up financing support for training and competition, it doesn't leave a lot of time and energy to focus on being the best in the world. At the very least those who demonstrate success should reap some rewards to allow them to focus on their support and do even better.

Come on Canada, we need to support our athletes, not only morally but financially! You can't win races if you're starving. Then you end up in 4^th place! Get it?

Another Canadian Election!

Vote on January 23rd!

Thankfully this election has been abbreviated due to Christmas. I was glad that most of the politicians did not bother people over the Christmas vacation period. Of course this was probably more about not being able to get people's attention then it was about being sensitive!

In the last few weeks things have been getting dirty. I especially liked the "army in the streets" ad that the Liberals had produced and decided it was too controversial to run but it "accidentally" got released. Name calling, shouting, taking the leaders' words and twisting them, it's all there. So much for the genteel inoffensive Canadian way. There's no need for it people.

I also think the parties should be stopped from making spending promises. I mean you can promise money for every cause and special interest group under the sun during a campaign. But the story changes drastically when the elected party "opens the books" and discovers "Oh things are much worse than we thought, so unfortunately we can't live up to all those promises we made." Stop it! People want to hear where you stand on issues not how you will spend money you don't have and that doesn't belong to you. It belongs to us, the tax payers.

My favorite item for this election is CBC's VLT Voting Machine.

To cast your vote click here.

Welcome 2006

Here it is, a new year. Another opportunity to make a clean start and make the year count for something. It's not that 2005 was a terrible year but I'm left feeling that I should have accomplished more. I don't know that I accomplished much personally.

I did stuff, was involved in worthy enterprises, helped people when I could, travelled some and there were no major personal disasters in my life. But still I find the year wanting. Perhaps there are some things I should have been doing that I didn't do.

2006 does hold promise for change. My daughter graduates with her Business degree this year. My company will either expand and really take off or it will not live up to my expectations and I may be looking for a new opportunity. A good friend is trying to make some changes in her life. She's had a terribly difficult 2005 with job and health challenges. I hope to be positive part of that change. Also I'm thinking of travelling to Cuba with some friends. Perhaps some things will b e revealed to me.

I would like to be able to look back and say 2006 was a better year, one in which I was able to make a positive difference in my own life as well as those around me. I don't want another year where things are left undone.

To KC - I wish you every happiness this year. May your road become easier, may you laugh again and may your heart's wish be fulfilled. I pray your eyes will be opened and you will know love again.

A Poem for the New Year by Helen Steiner Rice

God grant us this year a wider view, So we see others' faults through the eyes of You; Teach us to judge not with hasty tongue, Neither the adult ... nor the young.

Give us patience and grace to endure And a stronger faith so we feel secure; And instead of remembering, help us forget The irritations that caused us to fret.

Freely forgiving for some offense And finding each day a rich recompense, In offering a friendly, helping hand And trying in all ways to understand, That all of us whoever we are ... Are trying to reach "an unreachable star."

For the great and small ... the good and bad, The young and old ... the sad and glad, Are asking today, "Is life worth living?" And the answer is only in "loving" and "giving."

For only "Love" can make us kind And Kindness of Heart brings Peace of Mind, And by giving love we can start this year To lift the clouds of hate and fear.